Will You Be Jesus?

Some may preach divine love, yet how many are willing to take up the starring (or hidden) role of Jesus and being crucified in body, mind or possibly both?

What I dearly appreciate about Pastor Joel Osteen is his emphasis on developing a personal relationship with God, and much of the rest will take care of itself. Wish I’d discovered him and the Osteen family a couple of decades sooner — instead of 12 or so years ago, in the midst of a reality very few can imagine.


Btw, I only kept that envelope because it is vintage Joel, predating this blog and the massive cover-ups and concerted efforts to manipulate the public and people, in general.


In JoelOsteen.com

In 1996, I had a cosmic encounter with this man, Ron Holt, while I was attending a workshop he was facilitating in Hong Kong called, The Flower of Life (based on science and the teachings of Drunvalo Melchizedek).

That same year, I became pen pals with this man, Richie Ogulnick — after responding to an interview article about his work with Ibogaine and its natural ability to stop drug addiction, under his thealias Eric Taub.

We wrote many lengthy faxes to each other about life and spirituality.

Spider 🕷 To The Fly

When I returned to Canada 🇨🇦 in 1997, Richie generously sent quite a few books about spirituality that were or are popular with New Age types (eg, Seth books, Ram Dass, Herman Hesse, various others and Calling the Circle), as we both seemingly subscribed to an inclusive, diverse and respectful view of spirituality and world religions.

He invited me to come visit him in Gainesville, Florida, so we could meet in person. I also sensed some romantic motivations; however, I idealized him as a spiritual mentor, and physical relations were the last thing on my mind. I tested out the Ibogaine capsules, while I was there, though i did not perceive any effects.

I met one of his close friends, Lyssa, who is a like-minded spiritualist and astrologer. She did my astrological chart. (Note: R. just replied to my text saying Lyssa who? Is she on Facebook?)

A whole lot of things happened in the years that followed…

A great man died; I tried to suggest to his widow some investigation and to hold those who were complicit, or at the very least negligent, responsible in some way. I also wanted to acknowledge my seeming role in this tragedy.

In the midst of great personal crisis myself, and isolated (disbelieved by many about my claims of illegal surveillance and later harassment with health threats — all of which began in 1998 I the ), I became enamoured with his spouse. It is Unfortunate, and yet perhaps understandable, based on many different factors.

I have spent 10+ years paying penitence in unimaginable ways for a crime I didn’t commit, plus being in a situation of emotional vulnerability. Anyway!! And both of our respective families may have paid a price, too.

Bring things forward 18 years, and yet another wise and highly spiritual, yet atypical and likewise unconventional friend starts lending me books from his personal library 📚 — all having to do with ANIMALS (Veterinarian anecdotes by James Herriot, Chicken Soup for The Pet Lover’s Soul books, stories about Dewey the Cat, and so on). 🤔

As years ensued with my initial and increasing devolution from sheer stress — one woman expert mentioned the phrase “psychologically unsustainable”, which couldn’t be more fitting to describe 3 years plus of full time flight or fight mode — I have become increasingly “animalistic” in so many ways.


Actually, there have been many leaps and bounds in terms of scientific findings and technology advancements since 1998 or so. As a society and global culture, we are more grounded in physical and material realities — such as survival, competition, evolution, optimal excellence and our expectations of people being “the complete package” (looks or appearance, physical fitness, intelligence, and skills or talents)..

In some ways, spiritual connections and deeper or universal enquiry have taken a back seat.

These things happened in pursuit of a bigger plan and global goal. Somehow, I got to be a 23 year guinea pig, tormented Lab Rat, and workhorse. With more in store.

NOTE: Kindly excuse the typos, as I cannot delete for various reasons.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.