God, Pandemics, Predation…and MORE

Text message to a friend (May 15, 2020) with some additions…

(AKA Following One’s Ever-Flawed Heart…)

Most people’s lives are based on hard facts, emotional realities, relationships, personal experiences + successes and failures, growth, learning, new ideas, gut instincts and intuition, and sometimes even a touch of the divine.

With that understanding, kindly keep an open mind, as you read this post…

It’s worth noting that the number of and actual names of ARCHANGELS found in spiritual texts — except for Michael and Gabriel — is not clear.

This “name” ZADKIEL seems to spring from nowhere; yet I found it associated with my astrology sign, which happens to be the same sign as my powerful cosmic friend Aaron (JUNE 19 — keep this number in mind) and several key people in the various dramas I repeatedly refer to in this blog.

AND Richard “Kiel” happens to be the name of the lead actor, who plays the space alien in The Twilight Zone episode mentioned, below.

PLEASE NOTE: NUMBERS, DATES and NUMEROLOGY are very relevant to my past 6 months of personal threats, communications sabotage and censorship, economic undermining and social isolation. Not by my doing — but a way of “sending a message”, be it threats, shame, guilt, etc.

Understanding Life and Predators

… Actually I hear the film [Planet of The Humans (2020)] is based on “old thinking” and realities.

Read the Bible / Torah / Qu’ran if you want a real grasp of where we’re heading as a planet and species — that is, for NOW and the foreseeable future, before some other more evolved predators (‘spacemen’) attain their true and intended vision.

Sounds crazy, right?! 😆

As for your sister Nat: Predators get rewarded.

It’s how life works: The law of the jungle, survival of the fittest, etc. Not just healthy competition, but Kill to Win. (See my post on “Friendliness: The Peak of Love”.)

That’s the new strategy and push for an elite, evolved, mostly ethnically-homogeneous group (ie, Caucasoid — Europe, Middle East, North Africa, India, Western Asia), and thus, a vastly smaller world and global society.

And if one doesn’t just “roll over”, thoroughly submit, and cough up everything one owns or values, including one’s left kidney, to benefit those with far, FAR more power and economic means, then there are consequences for that. Believe me.

Plus 16 years of another kind of punishment, retribution and control; but that’s a whole other story.

Am I defying God’s will for me?

Or merely protesting the sheer inequities, injustice, corrupt means to a supposedly “spiritual” goal — and lack of both forgiveness and redemption being perpetrated by human (and seemingly “cosmic”) forces — despite my already 16 to 22-years of extensive trauma, personal trials and ongoing captivity and penance, which one could only imagine happening in a TV show or movies.

A World Beyond: Evolution and Predators In Divine Nature

Yet, all these material world and “otherworldly” challenges I’ve been encountering (see NOTE 1) may not be the work of a “loving God” and Creator — even if great, powerful, even supernatural things may be occurring in the world (another long story).

Many people, for a few hundred years or even millenia, can conceive of extraterrestrial life and powerfully-able alien beings. AND we have been imagining the possibilities of ET’s since the invention of electronic media. Now, we actually explore and use outer space more than EVER BEFORE — and yet, our conceptions of a spectrum of supernatural powers and alien life forms, who could potentially be telepathic, able to harness the weather, and control earth remains in the Dark Ages. There. I said it.

See Twilight Zone episode, “TO SERVE MAN” from March 2, 1962. An interesting date.

TO SERVE MAN” (1962 Twilight Zone episode on YouTube)

It’s worth REMEMBERING in these times of extreme propaganda and MEDIA DISINFORMATION, all media can be edited — past and present. Plus, their supposed release dates and airing times. Besides the various editing software and technologies out there, all professional and most amateur productions keep extra film footage, outtakes, etc, which can later be popped in to change the entire meaning or outcome of a recording or program, etc. (Eg, “Director’s Cut”, “Extended Version” etc.)

NOTE 1: This blog ranges from socio-environmental concerns to identifying a need for national unity in Canada 🇨🇦, nation-building, social healing, reconciliation, empowerment (and I thought honesty) — PLUS for myself, documenting the resurgence of illegal surveillance, health threats and pernicious harassment in my life (until I was sidelined).

The latter became an increasing obsession since December 2019, of proving that “bad stuff” or problems, and outright HARM (and worse) have in fact been happening to me and others since 2001, in a post-9/11 world of Big Brother technology surveillance and social control. Then, identifying how authorities and technology were/are undoing my privacy and autonomy (never mind FREEDOM AND WELL-BEING), and thus, all of society.

Plus, battling with big companies just to get a working product(s) and services these past 5 months; and yet, they are a major co-operator and orchestrator of the problems besetting me since December 2019. So many years before (2000 to 2005), it was the authorities in cahoots with the private sector via certain channels. (See this page for why it all came back.) Now, it would seem a sweeping “global plan” is being put into action — far beyond my claims about a concerted “Rewriting the Internet in 2020”, or even the onset of the “coronavirus / COVID-19 pandemic”.

Visually, technologically and scientifically, we are incredibly “advanced” and enabled; yet our beliefs about “higher powers” or “supernatural abilities” is stuck in a time warp — entirely limited to human-made or technology-driven media creations and such.

Why am I ranting so passionately?

Partly because I once learned about such things — before the X-Files (with the growing interest in “the Truth is out there” phase), plus other mass propaganda that both tempts and engages people with knowledge, and yet, ultimately leads them nowhere.

What’s happened in 23 years?

They’ve been withholding REAL INFORMATION AND FINDINGS ABOUT SO MUCH (eg, human energies and powers, space research, possible intelligent life forms, technology’s full capabilities, scientific advancements, etc), and dissuading the public from ever “believing” in, examining or exploring such space age information and supernatural ideas. Essentially, suppressing the burgeoning growing spiritual consciousness that arises from time to time, throughout human history.

We wait until a Hollywood movie 🎥 comes out to satisfy our pleasure and curiosity.

I felt very much part of a spiritual epoch then, of heightened awareness and growing public interest in spiritual knowledge — from approximately 1993 to 2000. And then, it stopped.

(Search “Y2K”.)

The other reason I’m ramped up?

Along with my other claims of massive INTERNET DISINFORMATION, I just found out why our public enquiry into potential realities, powers, and energies — beyond the concrete everyday world and mainstream beliefs — are so EFFECTIVELY BLOCKED.

Long story. And I have little support, or “defences” from an all-powerful entity that wants to punish me, while many people of specific ethno-religious groups + media types, spiritual leaders, etc are being persuaded (behind the scenes) and, hence, believe that this coronavirus / COVID-19 is the precursor to the “end times” for humanity. That mass extinctions are inevitable, and this is all actually the work and “hand of God” (see my post, “A Sincere Message”).

Anyway, just know that ancient spiritual heritage sites and rituals, like the pyramids found in Egypt to Peru, and Sweden to Japan, etc did practice otherworldly supernatural stuff eons ago. The Flower of Life symbol and sacred geometry, for example, has been found around the world.

(NOTE: The website above removed the Flower of Life symbol a day after I copied and posted it. Just one of MANY incidents of online tampering, sabotage or censorship that follows me, and affects my devices, blog, email accounts, correspondence, public outreach. See YouTube videos by or about Drunvalo Melchizedek, though I doubt you’ll get the real information he used to share, anymore, or the “straight goods”. )

I had wanted to introduce my fellow Environmental Studies classmates in 1999 to the above teachings by Drunvalo Melchizedek via a seminar hosted by Ron Holt, whom I met in Hong Kong 🇭🇰 in 1996.


Just found R again, with some *interesting* developments that confirm my wonderings about HOW so much of what I’ve been through from 1999 to 2020 seems far less than holy, divine and springing from a forgiving God or Creator, whom I have no doubt loves and forgives me for being my broken self, as well as for my pain and reactiveness, and the extreme, sometimes destructive, unwise and antagonistic ways in which I’ve bumbled along in life and with people FOR 23 YEARS!!

I believe in the One God, who undoubtedly made ALL things — and not just the ‘perfect ones’.

I believe in the One God, who undoubtedly made ALL things — and not just the ‘perfect ones’.

Presumably, “the dignity of God” exists in all; and so one may choose to honour and “respect the individuality of every soul” (Julia Cameron, Heart Steps, 1997) — without seeking to actively harm or eliminate them to suit a bigger agenda.

I realize what your personal beliefs are, AD; however…

We ourselves didn’t just snap our fingers one day, and create our existence into being (though skilled professionals are getting there with DNA research, cloning, genetic engineering, IVF and the many variations on reproductive strategies, cryogenics, and essentially ‘resurrecting the dead’ through technology — 60 Minutes episode, April 2020, etc).

As brilliant and fascinating as amoebas may be, could all of creation (that we know of, just here on earth) have biodiversely developed without a “blueprint” inspired by a higher intelligence source?

Billions or trillions of species, from insects 🐜 to reptiles 🦎 to birds 🦅 to sea creatures 🦈 to mammals 🐘🦘🐐 to humans; and then, in past ages, dinosaurs 🦕 etc. Some of the most hardcore skeptics and scientists (eg, Einstein, Descartes, Galileo, Newton etc) usually acknowledge or privately conclude that a divine intelligence or Manifestor must exist. (Not trying to offend your atheist beliefs here.)

Famous Scientists Who Believed in God [that we know of]

In terms of my being up against some powerful entities, the “Seinfeld” comedy TV show (1989 to 1998) captures a lot of these ‘dark currents’ of human nature, and both personal and global struggles, amazingly well.

Creators Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld and the screenwriters comically weave in historical references, social observations, and political ideas, thoughts, realities, and future potentialities — and yet, the show does so without rancour, bitterness, anger, hostility, sadness, or any sense of tragedy about past social injustices or epic atrocities. (Just some may relentlessly do so towards unworthy, damnable ones, like myself — a seeming infernal reminder perhaps of both one of the darkest times in world history AND my supposedly “causing” the untimely, tragic death of a tribe member (or that appears to be the covert political spin); and then, becoming a bit fixated on or merely appreciating their widow from a distance. Ultimately, not good enough for the promised land and OT salvation; nor my family and relatives, either. Not the right DNA, or ethnic mix. Yet, I’ve been a highly useful political tool and entertaining plaything; a ‘supernatural’ captive of sorts that none could imagine — except perhaps occultist Aleister Crowley’s wives, who all committed suicide, likely from similar types of ‘unseen forces’. ) Anyway, Seinfeld is incredibly self-effacing and highly enjoyable, and even more relevant today, in hindsight. The show, its staff and various characters demonstrate TRUE RESILIENCE, refinement, self-integrity, survivalism through humour, and faithfulness — quietly reflecting perhaps both a superior nature and breed of people.

I’m part of the 98% — a majority of whom are either inferior, undeserving, malformed and lesser-made bottom-feeders, who ARE either the problem itself, or contributing greatly to them. Either way a blanketed parasitic threat (search for my posts on evolutionary biology).

Relative Homogeneity works best anyway. (See the 3 religions and their respective ethnic groups, mentioned above, yet MINUS the “Jesus factor”, 2,000 years of history and cultural thinking + values, and the notion of teaching / converting other nations, so we may all eventually co-exist as a One World Family under the Israelites, God’s chosen people.)

Watch the upcoming TV series, “Billions”, to get a hint of where things are going. I wrote an email along those lines, some years ago.

Basically, through technology, scientific research, medical advancements etc, we have officially reached a POST-MESSIANIC AGE in 2020.

Out with the old, and in with the new. “All systems eventually die” (as the “Billions” female skinhead protagonist notes).

NOTE: the dual interpretations of how Hindu teachings, Indian religions and symbolism have played out in world history is another fascinating topic. You have, for example, mostly peace-loving, life-cherishing, vegetarian Buddhists vs. Nazi Germany under Adolph Hitler, during World War II, and the violent white supremacists who’ve shared his attitudes ever since — both these unlikely groups are outgrowths of Hindu religion and INDIAN teachings, and they share symbols, often sport a shaved head.

Worth noting, too, that in ancient Judeo-Christian spiritual texts (Bible etc), shorning off a person’s hair is meant to shame and disempower them. And that is what was done to Jews and Others, who entered concentration camps, and most were mass murdered, along with other horrors and atrocities perpetrated.

War can be sick beyond comprehension, and most of us are truly sheltered and removed from the psychopathy and unimaginable cruelties that can take place — yet, we get a taste of it through various media programming…and we crave more.

On the one hand, I abstained from general TV watching, especially news broadcasts, for about 15 years to “unplug”, and thus, avoid all the negative, depressing information and hearing terrible local/world events (although I took film courses, and still watched movies, etc); and on the other hand, I am seemingly a born fighter.

The latter fact didn’t really become apparent to me until my mid-20s. Most people I believe found me to be reasonably congenial, a people-pleaser, etc.

Still, those who know me best, would say I can be obstinate and “combative” at times, always have to have the last word, be right, etc.** And having endured some pretty harsh, extreme limitations and prolonged negative experiences (with some ongoing), I’ve become more cold-hearted than I ever was.

**(NOTE: According to the Hindu caste system, there are 4 classes of people: Brahmins, Merchants, Warriors, and Untouchables. In India, one is born into such a family. This can be extremely limiting for oneself, if one has the misfortune of being from an “untouchables” family; it basically means a life of poverty, servitude, lowliness, and never stretching beyond one’s present state. In the Hare Krishna religion (derived from Hinduism), one applies these classes or types more freely, according to one’s inherent qualities or personal disposition. My friend suggested to me that both of us are “Warriors”.

About “systems dying”…In 1997, I was rambling on about various ideas for socio-environmental + economic transformation, enhancing participatory democracy and cultivating freedom and even spiritual upliftment for ALL, while also observing and frequently commenting on life’s realities (while under seeming surveillance). One maxim I kept noting is: “A system’s greatest strength is also its greatest weakness.”

That’s my fortune-cookie understanding of national and world politics, globalization and such, LOL! 👩🏻

Old thinking doesn’t serve one well now, especially if one don’t stay attuned to where things are really heading, and what’s actually going on.

In short, the notions of unity in diversity, freedom, autonomy, democracy, true liberty, empowerment and especially equality don’t work in a “Tower of Babel” world with massive population imbalances — they also aren’t goals that those with power would ever desire for the “masses”. And anyway, it defies science, the laws of nature, and our biological programming of both human instinct and our brain’s hard-wiring for survival, excellence, control, dominance, etc.

Plus, TECHNOLOGY RULES! Totalitarian sociopolitical control has finally been achieved, and the “dreaded” COVID-19 is merely proof that both global domination and a planetary shutdown (as has been depicted in a few Hollywood films for some decades) are now fully possible and all systems and plans are effectively in place, or easily communicable / communicated through varying channels of digital technology — both public and individual.

(Unfortunately, so many others who are being *relayed* information are not necessarily able to see the unvarnished truth or complete information — and hence, get the full picture. As per the selective censorship of my online posts, emails, social media accounts, etc. So who sees what is always in the hands of “the Controllers”, and anybody can be mislead or falsely manipulated at any given moment.)

“The Girl From Yesterday”

(Ironically, along with many other tunes that randomly appear in my Music Library and in my song playlists (ones that I selected), the above song by The Eagles 🦅 (a band I love, but had not downloaded this particular album, “Hell Freezes Over”) simply appeared in my Christian-inspired playlist — along with 300 other songs!!!)

Anyway, AD, I am sorry to hear you’re not feeling well and in pain, plus the various financial pressures and living situation concerns. I understand.

In many ways, I’ve been wishing I’d never been born (but that’s not my conscious choice; even though possibly on a ‘spiritual’ level, it actually was — foolish me!).

At the very least, I wish I’d stayed the 2 extra years in HK to get residency and thus still have:

1) Maintained a reasonably paying airline job;

2) Freedom to travel anywhere I wanted to (with 90% discount on airfare for me, my parents, and a friend or spouse; plus many travel-related savings, and useful everyday perks, too);

3) Pursued my *supposed* socio-environmental interests in small, yet more ethical/ responsible/ meaningful / less hypocritical ways — and hence, be living with greater personal INTEGRITY, ACCOUNTABILITY and RESPONSIBILITY by:

  • Remaining a vegetarian, and a far healthier one (veggie and healthy options are conveniently available and affordable for non-cooks like myself);
  • Connecting regularly with open-minded, spiritual, dynamic and creative people (except I was romantically unfulfilled then, which is pretty important);
  • Frequenting my favourite places and being in natural surroundings everyday (island, beach, ocean, trees just a stone’s throw from the worst air pollution, congested streets, and crammed skyscrapers);
  • Participating in spiritual groups and consciousness-raising activities and events (discussions, meditation gatherings, workshops, Earth Day celebrations, occasional corporate-sponsored tree-planting, etc );
  • Being able to afford and receive holistic health and bodywork treatments;
  • Living very SIMPLY (though some packrat hoarding, because I dread clothes shopping, etc); SIDENOTE: Being a mostly wash ‘n’ wear, unfashionable blue jeans gal👖, I perhaps looked backwards and “fresh off the boat” to my Environmental Studies peers, when I arrived back in Toronto from India in 1999;
  • Taking public transportation (ferry, sampan, bus, trams, MTR subway, taxis) AND not driving and now owning a used car (having been repeatedly judged for this, where so many are not; I seem to fit the role of both IGNORANT POLLUTER AND SPIRITUAL EVIL-DOER so much better ( partly true, and yet…): 1) what I may personally “bring to the table”, or offer up in ideas, insights or useful life experiences is completely overlooked; and 2) I’ve long been an easy target for both DISPROPORTIONATE social and ecological prejudgements, sometimes even barely concealed hostility, contempt, and rage — despite the fact that I’m pretty progressive, aware, and for example probably 50-75% or more of “environmentally concerned” people DO actually own and drive a car, among the many double standards I encounter and crosses I must bear — the story of my life since 1997, and in a way since 1993);
  • And who knows what my interesting, talented, and diverse cohorts might dream up, teach me, or what we might collaborate together on…
  • Instead of now living in a sometimes “dark, nefarious reality” for 20+ years — and seeing good, innocent people die unnecessarily, back here in Canada.

4) Haha! ‘4’ Continued to explore and develop my spiritual growth and self-awareness, or holistic personal development, on a vastly more positive trajectory and more constructively than I have been for 23 YEARS (!!!).

Instead, here I am:

  • A burden to society;
  • Serially-employed at best and depending on social assistance;
  • Virtually friendless — especially these past 6 months of “radio silence” from others (hmm);
  • Unable to ‘give back’ to my parents, and those who’ve been kind to me; and better support my preferred causes and charities;
  • Oh, and now traumatized and broken by life, and more specifically, by predatory and illegal surveillers (my supposed country, government, fellow citizens etc), and those who would use me for their own purposes — to achieve a glorious, yet temporary global paradise (see “aliens”), plus the promise of God’s salvation in the afterlife, which apparently doesn’t even include me and many others — all while keeping me in a “permanent bubble” and state of domesticated captivity.

Then, being held ENDLESSLY responsible for inconceivable past tragedies (real Hollywood movie material!), for a crime I did not commit nor plan — BUT THEY DID 23 years ago. It suits their trumped up sense of justice + then I get held to exacting Old Testament laws (for 16 years now) with or by a cosmic force.

I know! Sounds crazy, right?! 🤷🏻‍♀️

According to the New Testament —ie, after Jesus came to save the world and all our souls, plus 2000 years of history since — those strict, demanding Judaic laws, sacrifices and observances are no longer necessary for redemption or salvation, or to please God. (Take note others, all you ladies, of exactly where this is heading.)

And then, all THAT aside (which of course I am perpetually disbelieved about, and have endured far more “personal and spiritual trials” than anyone will ever know…), on just a practical, everyday tangible level, I am being suppressed, thwarted and totally ripped off by the wealthiest, most powerful companies in the country and, naturally, then unsupported by police, legal practitioners, politicians.

Read CanadaTruth.com for some backstory — most of which I have not mentioned, nor named names, for countless reasons. Nor have I been able to upload, transfer or save the majority of my media files: In fact, many of my photos, videos, screenshots and recently my audio files too have been sabotaged or selectively deleted; and the total control of my online activities, censorship from public viewing and outreach, and the tampering of my various accounts are just the “tip of the iceberg”. ]

(NOTE: For those “in the know” or reading along since November 2019, the trials and tribulations of the past 6 months are but a “drop in the bucket” compared to the strong forces I encountered and my overall experiences in 2005 to 2015.)

Ah, the joys of internet and back-end remote access to all people through their digital devices and online information (public, governmental, search activities, etc), accounts, websites, apps, and so on; and hence, EVERY ASPECT OF ONE’S LIFE — INSIDE AND OUTSIDE THE HOME. From one’s physical whereabouts, home life doings, personal data, employer information, all communication — online and offline (just having your phone nearby), one’s character or personality type, psychological profile, habits, social networks and connections, political views, purchases, health status, DNA info, and so on. Um, yeah.

An innocent person (though proud, hard-hearted, spiritually-flawed or haunted, and guilty of moral transgressions) can be totally invaded, controlled or manipulated, have records or evidence falsified against them, be locked up and/or harmed, personally destroyed, and permanently defamed in the Digital Age. Just with the click of a mouse.

Yup, supposedly our governments, military and other high-powered entities are just go-along to get-along schmucks, like you and me, dreaming of better days, retirement and good weather. Lol 😂

But apparently I’m such a GREEDY CORRUPT ASIAN, that I warranted being threatened with “investigation” 23 years ago over a simple, though unusual passport misunderstanding; and then, I increasingly lived to rue the day that ever-evolving illegal surveillance turned me into a laughingstock.

Like many, I was afraid to speak out or identify myself, and potentially have every private moment or shameful, unbecoming, compromising or simply ‘different’ activity be exposed publicly (or privately and selectively communicated to potentially countless people, who are now easily contacted through their digital devices, various apps, social media, and other means of communications).

And on top of that, I chose to give up all the above mentioned security, benefits and simple FREEDOM (something all humankind yearns for), which I enjoyed abroad, because I somehow felt *called* in some foolish way to “help save the world and planet”, through my albeit small actions or thoughts, ideas, creative endeavours. And more so…

What “Big Brother” learned through the extreme contrasts of my life, and rather free-ranging or unusual experiences, and an activist bent, all by simply recording and studying:

  • How I was received by others — at school, at work or in pursuit of jobs, at activist events or gatherings, and by people, in general;
  • My occasionally unpleasant or oppressive experiences, and various struggles etc; and
  • My determined efforts to protect my privacy, preserve my sanity and freedom, and various attempts to elude spying eyes or remain anonymous — which proved all too useful for authorities.

My 23-year journey of DEVOLUTION has become a playbook of sorts (to unseen others). Yet, Millenials and Gen Z et al could care less about their living in a rapidly accelerating “Lab Rat World”.

Anyway, enter COVID-19!

PS – LADIES AND GENTS: The ultimate vision and destination doesn’t even include WOMEN. Lol!


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